As I sit on this rock in the middle of Rio with my feet dangling in the water and my phone on 1%, I'm thinking. I eagerly wait for the fallen leaves to float by - some brown, some burgundy, some yellow. A few ideas and analogies race through my mind about satisfaction, loving people, joy, and being bold.
The first leaf I reached for was a faded yellow. Was I content with the one faded yellow leaf or did I keep looking to find a brighter one? I kept looking. One beautiful thing wasn't enough. I think this can go either way when it translates into life with Jesus. Searching for the brighter leaf can represent rejecting complacency in lukewarm faith and reaching out for and pursuing something of more value like more and more quality time with Jesus and finding more ways to lay down your life. Another way this search for a brighter leaf can go is rooted in our culture's constant longing for money and "success” and maybe even the need to be liked. Sometimes when I get a gift from God, I lose sight of the heart of God and I love the gift more than the Giver. The selfishness in my sin demands to have more stuff and live a worldly lifestyle but it's all one big unsatisfying lie. The more I get, the more I want and it's hard to stop or leave until I feel like I've found THE ultimate thing that satisfies. But I never will because I already have it and neglect it. Jesus is the ultimate of all things. I think satisfaction in stuff, people, and the world, fades a lot quicker than my yellow leaf did.
Why am I drawn to the yellow leaf anyway? Many other leaves had passed by before I was interested in reaching into the water to grasp one. I think I’m drawn to it because it’s full of life and it stands out. Something about it just feels like joy. Does that reflect my pursuit of people? I think it does and I think those people are SO worth pursuing. But are there other colors worth sticking around for? Heck yes! So I kept looking. I found burgundy leaves. I found multiple, one after another, all a little different. I feel like these are the believers who say they follow Jesus but don’t live out any indication of lordship – total surrender to God and His will. These are the “Christians” who classify themselves as such solely because they grew up in church or they went to church camp a few times. Burgundy leaves are common and seem to blend in with the flow of things but the yellow – OH, they are set apart. They are different and vibrant. Maybe this is why the yellow makes my heart sing but I have a deep conviction in this. I need to love the heck out of the burgundy people and seek them out as much as I do the yellow.
Matthew 4:19 says: “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”
I also see the burgundy leaves representing the simple pleasures in life that I overlook or take for granted the more I experience it and the more I come across a yellow leaf – a greater, more glamorous joy. But if I compare a burgundy leaf in the fall to a regular ole green leaf, my heart is a little more thankful toward the burgundy. I feel like I do this in life. I forget how wonderful the simple pleasures are (stillness, sitting on rocks by the river, watching the sunrise, coffee with a friend, etc.) unless it’s only green leaves – mundane, routine life – or I’m blinded by my tunnel vision pursuit of yellow, causing me to miss out on the good in the burgundy. The good in the simple.
Then there are leaves that are multicolor. A yellow speckled red leaf with a lime glow. I think these are the moments in life that are so special that you just know it’s not of this world. You just know it’s something greater, something bigger. Maybe this is the Holy Spirit. The encounters and conversations God uses as a vessel to tell you what He needs you to hear. Something so magnificent that you don’t even believe your eyes.
As leaves float by, I reach and stretch my feet and legs out to try to get ahold of those colorful leaves or sometimes dive my hand into the water if it’s near but a little deep. So at least I’m putting myself out there – literally haha – for what comes my way but is that enough? Or should I dive in, submerging all of myself into the water, who knows if I’ll catch the leaf – who cares if I’m fully clothed, have no towel, no backup plan. Reaching out is better than sitting idle but how much better is it really if I’ll only get a part of myself wet and avoid the risks and cost myself the MOST BEAUTIFUL leaf. That leaf is jumping in head first for the Kingdom of God, no holding back, full surrender, with boldness and obedience. Too often I sit on my rock, dry and comfortable, reaching out for the Kingdom with obedience in some areas of my life, timid to confront God with the rest, and loving people when it’s convenient. This is not the life God calls me to! In fact, this is the life God calls me OUT of.
Another thought – What would I have missed out on if I left Rio before coming to the rocks? What would I have missed out on if I left after one yellow leaf? The answer to both is allowing God the stillness to be the author of my time and thoughts.
God, there’s so much more out there than I give you credit for. Show me how to be bold, live bold, and choose boldness. You used my awe for nature, awe for the fall, to meet me where I’m at with a gentle push to where You are.
I think the theory that appeals to me the most is that I extend my arms and legs to find beauty, but I’m scared to jump in because I’m not sure if the cons of the unknown are worth it.
God, wreck that and teach me. There is no failure with You. Show me how to JUMP IN for the Kingdom whether I have a plan or not. You provide for the birds, am I scared you won’t provide for ME? Am I not so much more valuable than they?